Paris Hilton?!

Ok.

I have tried to put this off but the time has come to chuck in my views on the whole dumb, stupid debarcle on Paris Hilton. Geesh, even I stooped this low and I swore never, ever to write something about her....yeesh. But enough is enough! Who fuckin' cares about some blonde chick with no fat on her bones, a terrible fashion style and rich parents?

NEWSFLASH! ALL YOU MEDIA PEOPLE, GET OVER IT!

Le sigh.

*takes deep breath and lets it out again*

Ok. Lets start from the very beginning.

So, some chick named Paris Hilton gets 45 days sentence in jail for driving on a suspended license. Her publicist told her it was alright. How dumb could that publicist be?! Did he like, fall asleep in the preliminary hearing or something? EVERYONE knows that if you're suspended, you're suspended. Period. Its on the learner driver test questions, for the love of pete!

And now she's some kind of media sensation. Well, that orange jumpsuit looks better than most of the clothes she wears. What I, like probably the majority of Australians, don't get, is why the media are interested in her at all down here in Oz? Every week, there's stories about her supposed mental anguish. Can she act? Nope. Can she sing? Nope. Can she model? Nope. Is she a good rolemodel for kids? Hell no.

So...what exactly does she do? What purpose does she serve? Why waste thousands of dollars publicising some tiny-waisted rich kid who des nothing but sit on her ass and drink alcohol? I mean, at least Lindsay Lohan has some use in society [even if she takes drugs and drinks too much and might end up in jail too]. You could send the money to Darfur or Iraq and feed hundreds of families over there, instead, you waste it on some chick none of us like!

Hello, peoples!!!!

Just cause she boned some Australian Idol finalist while down here for the Melbourne Cup don't make her any more interesting to us. We didn't care when she boned him, we don't care now. We care about drought and the Hunter Valley being flooded and whose gonna be our next head of the country. Not her.

Oh yeah, on another note.

What is with that whole psychiatric evaluation?! Maybe she turned up in jail and they realised she had like, Chlamydia or something from sleeping around and she burst into tears and bribed them huge stacks of money to let her out. Or...maybe she tried to starve herself to death or had an eating disorder or tried to kill herself. I mean, thats the most interesting part of the whole saga!

And Paris has found God?!

Hello?! That is soooo obvious. I mean, everyone says they found God. Hitler said something along the lines of that, or believed in him, or something equally vague. You only say you've found God when nobody's paying attention to you and you fell all sulky. If she had REALLY found God, she wouldn't have said it, but started acting like it. And whats so different about jail that you can find God there but not in the everyday world?!

Paris is just dumb. Period. Forget her and let her die in oblivion.

And here endeth the rant. :)